Heartbreak For Black Lives

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Heartbreak Podcast - Heartbreak For Black Lives

Welcome to a very special episode, Heartbreak for Black Lives. I am bringing on one of my nearest and dearest friends, Aisha Kabia. We met 11 years ago when I moved to LA. She embraced me with open arms, and it was the beginning of one of the most treasured and beautiful friendships that I have in my life. We’ve had many conversations over the years about so many different topics, but the one thing we’ve never really talked about is what it’s like to be a black woman in the United States. 

I wanted to talk about this topic because this is a heartbreaking matter, and I am a heartbreak coach. I am a coach who continues to get coached because I never want to stop learning. I never want to stop growing and contributing to being someone who can facilitate the healing of hearts, and having this dialogue is how we heal. 

You can feel your shame and feel your guilt. Understand the thinking behind it that created it, and then go do something about it. There are so many options. You can donate. You can educate yourself. There are so many podcasts. Don’t be passive anymore. Show up and keep taking action. 

Topics in this episode

• As white-privileged people, we are inherently racist based on systemic racism. 

• We contribute to the problem when we don’t want to discuss it, or assume it must not be that bad 

• The work is hard. If it were easy, everyone would be doing it. 

• The difference between empathy and compassion 

• Performative ally-ship: being an ally, but doing it for the sake of other people seeing you do it

• When you do something wrong, take ownership of it

• Committing to awareness and continuing these conversations 

Resources

• Trevor Noah video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4amCfVbA_c

• Podcast 1619: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/01/23/podcasts/1619-podcast.html

• Goop Podcast Episodes:

  • Stepping Out Of Privilege: https://goop.com/the-goop-podcast/stepping-out-of-privilege-with-layla-saad/

  • Dismantling White Fragility: https://goop.com/the-goop-podcast/robin-diangelo-on-dismantling-white-fragility/

• White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/566247/white-fragility-by-robin-diangelo/

• Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria by Beverly Daniel Tatum https://www.amazon.com/Black-Kids-Sitting-Together-Cafeteria/dp/0465083617

• Me and White Supremacy by https://www.meandwhitesupremacybook.com/

• Children’s books on racism: https://www.embracerace.org/resources/26-childrens-books-to-support-conversations-on-race-racism-resistance

• Meditation classes from Dr. Christiane Wolf: https://insightla.org/teacher/christiane-wolf/

Donate

• Black Lives Matter: https://secure.actblue.com/donate/ms_blm_homepage_2019

• The Loveland Foundation: https://www.flipcause.com/secure/cause_pdetails/NzU4MzM=

• https://www.changethenypd.org/issue

PLEASE NOTE: Claire refers to her exes and the listener’s ex as a “he,” based on her own personal experience as a heterosexual female, but this work can be applied to ANYONE going through heartbreak. ALL genders and sexual orientations are encouraged to listen and apply Claire’s tools into their own lives!

Editing and show notes by Roth Media